With employees scattered all over the country, a conference call meeting can provide a much cheaper and safer alternative for teams to meet, discuss and get the company moving forward.
And as with any gathering that involves a lot of people there are going to be things to laugh over.
This is a round-up of some funny and awkward scenarios that play out during a conference call meeting, you’ll get cracked up just by reading some, while for others, you need to be there (in that kind of situation) to be able to make sense of what’s actually going on.
Which Noise Is Annoying You The Most?
LINDA, THE DRIVER
Circumstances might force you to join a conference call from a pretty unlikely place– the driver seat of your car.
So you’re breezing through traffic, stopping for lights, stopping at intersections, navigating around a few potholes here and there and all the while trying to balance your coffee in the cupholder when all of a sudden this reckless driver cuts in front of you, you slam the breaks just in time to prevent an accident, but coffee has already leaped into the air and splashed all over your clothes and car.
Reflexively you start to curse him out and only managed to stop yourself after saying a few nasty words. At this point, everyone on the call is silent wondering which of them you’re cursing.
When you finally get a hold on yourself you go “Oh I’m so sorry, uhm… I apologize, I was talking to someone else here. So Mark could you please go ahead with the numbers you were sharing?”
Mark will definitely continue, but not until everyone has had a good laugh.
When nature calls we always have no choice but to answer.
A business analyst on WSO explains how he and his coworker (let’s call him Steve) was on a call with about 20 other participants, while waiting for other participants to join the meeting Steve decides to take a stroll, but not wanting to miss out on the call he puts on his headset and leaves the desk probably to get coffee or simply stretch his legs since it was going to be a long call.
A few minutes later Steve was making distinct grunting noises that we are all familiar with,(he forgot to put his call on mute) shortly after he flushes and you can hear splashes of water all over the place. As it turns out, about 20 people or so were listening to him do his business.
“Uhm.. is everything OK” one of the participants asked. Just before everyone burst into laughter.
ROSE, THE LATECOMER
As you can imagine the meeting is about to be wrapped up the boss is already reminding Susan to circulate an email detailing all the resolutions of the meeting to each member, now he is thanking everybody for attending and all of sudden, Rose joins and says “Hey everyone Rose here from accounting”. If you were in this meeting, it might be difficult not to laugh.
ASHLEY, THE TRASH TALKER
Sometimes we are on a conference call meeting and a person or two forgot to mute their call and as such, they say things that they didn’t actually plan to say out loud or something that wasn’t meant for others to hear.
Some people might even join the call while gossiping with a coworker, imagine Sally and a coworker were backbiting about Nicole who also happens to be a participant in the conference call.
Sally joins the conference call meeting but forgets to hit the mute button and everybody hears her rambling on about how Nicole from cubicle X snores like a horse when she naps.
Or as a consulting associate puts it “the Other party was 10 minutes late to the call and my colleague goes ‘where the fuck are these guys?’; right on cue you hear ‘we’re here’. Face goes bright red and everyone has a laugh. Great start to the call.”
Here’s another funny one from a forum contributor “The company was shit-talking us in a foreign language. I happen to know said foreign language. They apologized profusely and offered to take me out to dinner. I declined.”
It’s difficult not to laugh at this one.
THE MULTITASKING JAMES
InterCall, a Chicago-based conference call company, did a survey of about 530 people and came up with the following as the top things that distract people while they are on a conference call.
- Other work – 65%
- Sending an email – 63%
- Eating or making food – 55%
- Going to the restroom – 47%
- Texting – 44%
- Checking social media – 43%
- Playing video games – 25%
- Online shopping – 21%
Some calls drag on for a long time, so it’s understandable when some people try to do other things while they are on the call.
What is however funny is typing noises that sound like they could possibly be made with a hammer or the sound of someone manicuring their nails.
DON, THE INAPPROPRIATE DRESSER
Ever wanted to jump on a video conference call and thought hmmm “I don’t need to wear pants the camera won’t see my legs”? You’re not alone a lot of people do it, even I do it too, especially when I’m working from home.
In fact, one of the respondents to InterCall’s survey said they once joined a conference call at the beach… “it was a video call so I kept my laptop up so that my bikini didn’t show”
But here’s where it gets a little messy, Have you ever considered the possibility of your 2-year-old pushing the door open and strolling into your work area with the characteristic majesty that only kids have, he then starts pulling books off the shelves, ripping wires from power outlets and making a mess of the whole area.
Everyone can see how he’s making a lot of noise and disorganizing your work area, you’re visibly distracted but you can get up to take him out because… you don’t have pants on
So you’ll have to wait until your wife notices his absence and comes looking for him.
Just like professor Kelly did when his two children gatecrashed his live interview with the BBC, here’s a 44 second YouTube video of how it went down and thanks to social media it has racked up over 30 million views.
Finally, you have an effortless way of avoiding this. All you have to do is get Krisp for yourself and switch it on. BOOM – all the surrounding noise both from your side and others’ side is gone. Sounds easy, right? And it will save you a lot of embarrassing moments, too!
Have you ever been in a conference call with a lot of participants? If yes, what were the things you found most hilarious? Let us what you think in the comments section.